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Only to come back in after about 10 minutes.
Holdy and I had a spa day while GB napped.
But then come afternoon, the restlessness set in and the horror started. The whining. The requests. The crying. The dog crapping on the floor in protest. The fighting. The throwing the little brother down the stairs.
Day Two has only gotten worse.
As in diarrhea and vomiting worse.
Poor GB’s diet is about 85% whole milk. So you can imagine the consistency. And smell.
Amidst multiple loads of laundry and steam cleaning the carpet about four times, I also had to find time to help out with the shoveling so the neighbors didn’t think I was a huge jerk.
Fortunately, “Pukey” went down for a nice long nap so I could shovel while Holdy literally played in the street. Unfortunately, my right shoulder is slightly dislocated so shoveling is absolutely miserable. Thank god for neighbors with snow blowers.
Now we’re all camped out on the couch watching “Iron Giant.” The plows finally came down our street and there’s only about four hours until bedtime. I think we can do this.
Fingers crossed that Holdy’s school is open tomorrow. It’s not looking good.
The kids have been up for one hour and 48 minutes and I’m already questioning whether we’re going to make it through the weekend. Here in southern PA, we’re right smack dab in the middle of Jonas’s wrath. It’s been coming down hard since last evening with no sign of stopping.
You know you’re a parent of young kids when your first thought when you hear about a snow storm is, “oh crap, I’m going to be stuck inside with those jerks for several days.”
I’ve already made pancakes from scratch and had to explain the difference between “blizzard” and “lizard” at least twelve times. We’re on our third episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Oh, and GB is being super clingy today, so I’m literally doing everything with one arm.
Like I even had to pee with him sitting on my lap.
I’ll let you know of our progress. How are you faring?
I love that I have my followers and friends so well-trained now that when they ask me, “How was your Christmas?” they know to immediately follow up with, “Crazy, right?”
Truthfully, nothing amazingly catastrophic occurred. The kids were a bit overwhelmed by all the family and activity and that led to some hyperactivity and tantrums (Holden) and some clinging and shyness (GB). There was also some last-minute Christmas magic involved.
All season long, Holden has been telling me/Santa that she wants “ballet shoes, ballet socks, ballet dress, ballet coat.” So “Santa” went ahead and obliged… as well as signing up for dance lessons in 2016.
Tuesday night, Holden came home from school with this:
And, of course, the ballet stuff made an appearance. She hasn’t touched any of it since.
But the rainbow was the star of the show:
GB did not know what to make of the whole “Christmas thing” so I have lots of photos of him looking confused:
But he got a lot of “hucks” (trucks), his current favorite thing, so that elicited some smiles.
I’ve been trying to breed Star Wars fandom, so I was pleased when the kids stole someone else’s Light Saber gift for some Christmas morning fun. Surprisingly, GB was the one who turned immediately to the Dark Side.
I get a ton of questions about the necklace I wear everyday so I figured I’d make a post here so I can refer back to it without having to search through my Etsy history every time, haha.
The necklace comes from Betsy Farmer Designs on Etsy and is the New Baby Necklace, in the lowercase bookman font. I received my “Holden” necklace as a gift (perfect gift!) and loved it so much that I reached out to Betsy for the matching “Gatsby” charm to add to it once he was born… and a replacement pearl for Holden because I, of course, lost it.
I wear my necklace every day and I absolutely love it.
Prediction: I myself will have to refer back to this post after one of my children (probably GB) breaks off one of the charms.
As I’m navigating the holiday season with two small children, I’ve come to a realization: the more “magical” something is supposed to be, the less “magical” the experience is in real life.
Activities requiring costumes:
Disney on Ice:
I feel so much pressure–especially during the holidays–to make lasting memories and give my kids a magical childhood, that the outcome inevitably never lives up to the hype. It’s the parenting equivalent of every single New Year’s Eve I’ve ever experienced.
Like… We went to visit Santa Claus a few weeks ago. The kids both had a meltdown at the same time, with both of them literally flailing on the floor whilst screaming. A friend asked if I wanted her to take GB outside so I could get a photo with Holdy and my actual response was, “I am not leaving here without a f*cking photo of my kids with f*cking Santa.”
Anyway, just a friendly reminder to myself and others to chill the hell out and lay off the Christmas Magic. New Year’s Eve always sucks anyway.
I’m usually pretty terrible at Christmas shopping, meaning I’m definitely not one of those people who has my shopping completed already. But there is one gift I’ve purchased for both my kids that I’m pretty psyched about.
You enter the kid’s name and gender and pick their character and the book is generated for you.
Your kid encounters different creatures throughout the story who give them each of the letters in their name. Holden meets a hippo, ostrich, lion, dragon, elephant and narwhal (!). Gatsby meets a giant, aardvark, troll, octopus, bear and yeti (!)
My parents chose to drive down to Disney World (about a 15-hour drive) and bravely offered to take one kid with them. I decided to send Holden with them in the car, while I flew with GB as an “infant in arms” (which you can only do with children 2 and under). The original thinking was 1) I didn’t have to pay for GB’s ticket and 2) GB is generally the calmer child.
It wasn’t long after purchasing the airline tickets that I realized my mistake. GB hates sitting still, he doesn’t like sitting on my lap, and he doesn’t watch videos or play with apps. What was I thinking? But by that point it was too late, so we sucked it up and went for it.
The morning of our flight–which left Baltimore at 10am–I forgot the stroller at the house, so I had to turn around 10 minutes down the road. Heinous traffic on the beltway made it clear that the usual 1.25-hour drive wasn’t happening this time and we were definitely going to miss our flight. Had to do some ninja magic on the phone in the car to switch our flight with Delta–luckily, there was a 10:30am flight with a layover in a different city that got us to Orlando 20 minutes earlier, so it wasn’t terrible. Sure, it cost $50 to switch, but whatever. I was trying to avoid a mental breakdown.
The good thing about cutting it close on your flight is there’s not a lot of downtime in the airport; the bad thing is the obvious stress and self-loathing. We boarded and GB was entertained by opening and closing the plane window… for the first five minutes. We still had 40 minutes on this flight and another flight to go.
He stood on me, he looked out the window, he made faces at the people behind us, he ate snacks, he threw his Nuk. I tried out the new kid headphones I had gotten for the trip, which bought me about 10-15 minutes.
And then, as we began our descent, he freaked out.
And then he fell asleep.
Just in time to land.
The layover at Raleigh-Durham was nonexistent–our flight left slightly late–so we boarded the next flight almost immediately. Luckily, the airline representative could sense the frazzle that was radiating from me, so she put us in an extra-wide row.
It was like heaven. GB actually had room to stand… and lie down on the floor (whatever, don’t judge me). The lovely grandmother across the aisle from me actually took him into her lap for a bit and talked to him. He was overall pleasant and flirted with several passengers. I took it.
However by the time we boarded Disney’s Magical Express, the shuttle to our resort, GB had had it. He stood. He screamed. He whined. He threw his Nuk at me. It was 40 minutes of horror. We actually ditched the bus at the Boardwalk Resort and just walked over to the Beach Club. We’d had enough of being confined in metal boxes for a day.
On the way home from Florida, GB was ill–which was not good because he was sick, but was good because he was snuggly and quiet (I’m terrible). I accepted the three diarrhea blowouts he had during our travels as a trade-in for his good behavior. I even remained calm when the car wouldn’t start in the Express parking lot and we had to wait for help to arrive.
So… we survived. But I’m looking forward to not having to fly with a kid anytime soon.
Welp, we survived. We went to Disney World with two toddlers–a three year old and a nineteen month old.
We got back on Wednesday and my response to people’s questions about the trip has been, “Well, the kids were terrrrrrible, but we still managed to have fun.”
That’s not just me exaggerating, by the way: the kids were really, really badly behaved… one more so than the other. Any guesses as to which one?
Whaaaat? Not that little princess; no way. Oh, yes way.
I get it: the kids are overstimulated, they’re way off schedule, they’re missing naps, they’re sleeping in weird rooms, they’re hot, it’s crowded, they’re waiting in lines, they’re exhausted. Also, having my parents and myself all in the same place provides many opportunities to try to play us off each other and test out our patience… and discipline levels.
But let’s just say I made many parents feel good about themselves and their children during this trip.
People have been following up my admission by saying, “but your photos looked like you had such a great time!” Listen, you’ve seen the clickbait articles; you can make anything look good on Instagram.
If I were completely honest on social media, the trip would have looked primarily like this:
Oh and I guess some of this:
In all honesty, we did have a great time, despite the less-than-pleasant kids’ behavior. We ate a ton of great food and had some really fun experiences.
I’ve already had people asking me for suggestions for their next Disney trip, so I’m going to try to break it down into multiple posts focusing on the various parks, dining, etc. Given how good I am about updating the blog currently, this may take me until my next Disney trip to complete, but hey, we’ve all gotta have goals. Keep checking back for updates.
In the meantime, I’ll leave you with this tip for your next Disney trip: leave the kids at home. Disney World is awesome for adults.
It’s the International Food & Wine Festival so there’s definitely that to look forward to. And the mid-80 degree weather isn’t too shabby. And my parents are driving down with Holdy so they took the bulk of the luggage–that I literally only packed today–with them. This won’t be so bad… right?
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I’ll be flying with a beyond-fidgety 19-month-old who hates to be held and can’t be bribed with videos or apps. But I’ll have international food and wine waiting for me at the end of it, so that’s worth 2.5 hours of shame and misery… right?
We’ll be there over Halloween, so I did get to cheat a bit on the Halloween costumes this year. So that’s a plus.
I packed every single princess dress Holdy already owns (including two I bought at the consignment store) so she’ll have her pick of Halloween costumes… and I’ll be able to avoid buying a $90 princess dress at the resort. I also made Holdy an appointment at the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique on Halloween. Of course, the appointment is at 6:30pm and she goes to bed at 8:30pm, but I’m told they use enough hairspray that it should last a few days. See, we’re totally gonna be fine… right?